Sound the alarm! For, today, as I take a break from my regretfully stretched and delayed alphabetical posting spiel (D-post coming soon!) I bear great news that shall be spread throughout bloggerdom...well, at least to my readers/future readers.
Yours truly has finally found herself a job.
FINALLY!!!!!
Okay, now, I know you're probably thinking "Um, and why should this matter to me?" To that I shall have two responses:
Response Numero Uno: **ultimatesadface**:( Aren't you happy that I found a job and can now pay for school and the ridiculous gas-guzzling monstrosity I call my car (actually, I call him Sir Liam, but that is another story for another day)
Response Numero Dos: As my new position is as a waitress at Waffle House, and I've had about .00000000000001% experience in waiting tables (unless you count being waited on) there should definitely be some interesting stories, full of klutzy maneuvers, interesting customers, and, quite possibly, me with egg on my face. You, my readers (if I still have any) will hopefully have more great stories to tune into.
Now, for those of you who do not know what a Waffle House is, here is a picture:
It's a diner-type restaurant really popular in the South (I have no idea if it's located elsewhere in the United States -- readers care to enlighten me?) It's open 24/7, every single day of the year even on Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Leap Day. My favorite part is that WaHo (as I have had friends call it) serves breakfast ALL day, EVERY day. Yum. Unfortunately, being that I have decided (again) to lose weight (.....again), working here will be torturous, but in a fabulous way. I'll be able to put Mr. Self-Control to work...once I found out what happened him.
Now, back to the possibility of interesting stories. For the protection of any person involved (as well as my blog) I shall resort to changing the name, features, and possible gender of the person(s) about whom I write my witty tales. However, if I happen to tell a funny story about a curly-haired pregnant man named John, it can be safe to assume that the real person was a woman....I hope....
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On a side note, I would like to explain to my possibly doubtful readers why my posts are so few and far in between.
I live with my grandmother, who has probably never touched a computer in her life and is happy with the idea of never going near one. That being said, I do have a computer at my house, but we do not have Internet, making posting anything to the Internet difficult indeed.
However, there is a library approximately 1 mile away.
So, why in name of Cleopatra's pet cat do I not have a million posts up? I've have been making a job out of finding a job all summer. And now, months later, after 45 applications, 80 visits, and lots of driving and begging and crying and cursing, I found something. (Now, don't get me wrong, I know there are people who have spent a lot longer looking for a job and still haven't found one and my heart goes out to them. I hope our government can grow up and fix the economy before we are knee-deep in unemployment and trillions of dollars worth of debt ...oh...wait....we already are...damn).
Since I have a job now, however, all those hours will be put in toward making money so I can finish up my schooling, thereby spending more hours unable to blog. Oy vey. I'd love to have one of these little contraptions, really:
Maybe school will bring some interesting stories. We'll know in just a few weeks, eh?
Now, my faithful readers (again, if I have any), here is something to tickle your funny bone, lest this post was simply not colorful enough:
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Damn, I can tell I'm off to a rough start already. I didn't have the mandatory two years of in-ovary training. Um, can you get a GED for that? I'll just have to be a real....  Eggsactly. Better than the average local-yolkel. |
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| Amen to that. |
