British Balderdash

“England and America are two countries separated by a common language.”
-George Bernard Shaw (Irish Dramatist and Socialist)

Well, ain't that the truth. =D

As of late, it has become almost a fad to be so entranced by the “British” or “English” (nevermind that there are more variations in British accents than in American ones—to some there is only THE “British/English Accent.”  The ONE. Only one. Right.). Well, the Brits are well aware of this fact, as evident by my all-time favorite movie ever, Love Actually. The Bar scene in Wisconsin? I'd show a link but youtube does not have a clip anymore. Gah! Utter bollocks, eh? =D

It’s not only the British accent that takes America’s hearts by storm, however, but also the multitude of “foreign” words and phrases.

While I was piddling about online, looking for words for my ‘A’ post, I happened across an article on Merriam-Webster.com about the Top 10 Favorite British Words. “Bam!” I thought. “I believe I found my ‘B’ post!” (Okay, I didn’t think ‘Bam!’ exactly, but it begins with a ‘B,’ so just go with it. :P) See the link below.

Top 10 Favorite British Words 

 If, however, the case is that you can't be bothered to bumble over there, I will, beneficently, list them and their meanings below, along with some sure-to-be beneficial uses. Let's put the writer in me to work and see if I can't tell a story with my explanations.

1: Prat:  \ˈprat\ Noun - A stupid or foolish person. (eg. "I say, Colin, that muppet Jeb is a right prat")

2: Twee: \ˈtwē\ Adjective - Affectedly or excessively dainty, delicate, cute, or quaint (eg. "I agree, mate, but he's got a twee bird. Anyroad, care to go to the pub?") 

3: Knackered: \ˈna-kərd\ Adjective - Tired; Exhausted. (eg. "I don't think so, Colin, I'm knackered. I think I'll get my lorry and go home.")

4: Jiggery-Pokery: \ˈji-gər-ē-ˈpō-kər-ē\ Noun - Underhanded manipulation or dealings. (eg. "Going home. Right. Really, Mark, you ought not be up to any jiggery-pokery again.)

5: Plonk: \plonk'\ Noun - Cheap or inferior wine. (eg. "Seriously, mate. I'm gonna go to the off-licence, get some plonk, and head to my gaffe")

6: Chunter: \ˈchən-tər\ Verb - To talk in a low inarticulate way: mutter. (eg. "Oi, what's that mate? You know I can't here a thing when you chunter like that.")

7:Whinge: \ˈhwinj, ˈwinj\ Verb - To complain fretfully; Whine. (eg. "Why do you always whinge about the way I talk, you daft loon.")

8: Gormless: \ˈgȯrm-ləs\ Adjective - Lacking intelligence; Stupid. (eg. "Daft loon?! Well, you're a gormless git if ever I saw one!")

9: Boffin: \ˈbä-fən\ Noun -  A scientific expert; especially : one involved in technological research. (eg. "What's that? I can't understand you. I think I'd need a boffin to be able to understand what comes out of your barmy gob!")

10: Pukka: \ˈpə-kə\ Adjective - Genuine; Authentic. Also: First Class. (eg "I'm gonna stick my boot in yer arse for that o- oh ho ho. Look at that, Mark. It's a right pukka pub. Got a door supervisor an' everything! Let's go get ratted!")

And there you have it, my friends. Welcome to the odd eccentricities of my mind, which, apparently, functions as two arguing drunk British men.

That aside, here is some more British wordplay fun in the form of Hugh Laurie on 'Ellen.'

Ellen and Hugh Laurie in the same room = genius

“I was chuffed to bits by your badonkadonk"

Those apple bottom jeans and furry boots will now be a recurring theme in my blog, it would seem.

Hope you enjoyed my babble and waffle.

Oh, ahem, I mean, I hope you all were chuffed to bits. 

And if I ever have to luck to have a British reader or two, this was all in fun and I mean no insult. In fact, I'm one of those crazy people that love your country much too much!

Unfortunately for me, most words I'd love to say, sound absolutely silly without an accent (any accent).And, as for Cockney Rhyming Slang, that's a whole other language and I'll leave it up to you septics to figure it out. =D

Anyroad, I hope to have some readers for my 'C' post, lets hope my attempts at humor hasn't bored everyone (I do find today's entry a bit of a laugh, so I guess that worth something, huh?)

Cheerio! 

Back to being American now! 

Bye y'all!

Alphabetical Rebellion and Apparation

Or would apostasy be more appropriate? I expect not, considering the negative political and religious overtones. I was just on a role. I am just adjusting my vocabulary to it's vocabularic apex.

Okay, enough of that. Basically, I am arriving to the A-to-Z party VERY (although quite fashionably) late. For those of you unfamiliar with the Challenge, see here. I first learned of this challenge before my jump into Bloggerdom from a dear friend, and, now fellow blogger, Jenny. As you may notice, the A-to-Z Challenge takes place throughout the month of April. Yeah, about that: April's pretty much gone. But, being an English Major and an alliteration admirer (haha!), as well as an intensely impatient person, I decided I couldn't wait a whole year to get my alphabetical groove (assuetude) on.

Now here's the hard part. What do I write about?

There are loads of a-word topics, many of which would make for an absolutely awesome entry. I mean I could talk about a number of things:
Acrobats
Arachnophobia (I HATE spiders)
The name Arthur
Aardvarks
Arthur, the aardvark
Apple-Bottom Jeans, whatever those are (apparently something you wear with furry boots)
Alpenglow (the light on mountains at sunrise or sunset)
Anthomania (flower obsession)

See? There is an wide assortment of amenable articles, achievements, and adjectives on which I can author. 


But, today, along with telling you of my alphabetically rebellious actions, I am going to write about which superpower (other than flying) I wish I could have:

The Ability to Apparate. 

I told you that I was a Harry Potter dork, don't say I didn't warn you. But seriously. How cool would it be to apparate and disapparate between places. Let me make my case.

Taylor's Authoritative Assertions Why it Would Be Awesome to Apparate

1: You would never be late to anything because of...

•  Traffic

• Laziness

•   The little old lady that cross the street right when you're trying to get somewhere

2: The rising gas prices would have no effect on your travels or sanity:

3: You could travel anywhere and be back home in time for supper.

4: You could travel anywhere and just have supper there. Ahhh, Italia!

5: You could pop in and out of rooms and annoy and/or the hell out of anyone and everyone!

6: You could seriously impress your friends by the way you get all knotty and wibbly when you disapparate, like in the later Harry Potter installments

and

Now wouldn't that just be so excruciatingly fun?!

Of course, this skill is for witches and wizards alone. Oh, apparently Legos© too:

 

I'm slightly disturbed at the fact that your head apparently disappears first, but, as long as I don't splinch myself, and end up walking headless down some road, I think it'd be a blast!